Drop the Shop
A fascinating article by a woman who gave up shopping for a year in the Guardian. As a recent trip to Glasgow left me £85 poorer pehaps I should take a leaf out of her book. But the quilt will keep me warm ! The mahjong bracelet will... be handy if I'm ever stuck without 10 mahjong pieces and need a quick game and the magazines were research ... honest!
6 formidable women in stamps
Delighted to read that the post office is going to celebreate the achievements of women in a series of stamps today. I must go and get some soon. More info at the Guardian.
megan's pictures of wall st
An aquaintance of mine who lives in NY rushed out and got photos of the protests which apparently occuring around Wall St. Weird to have descriptions of this going on as I can remember walking past that bull when I was in NY a few years ago.
tea leaf reading
Reading No. 24
Our plans miscarry because they have no aim.When a man does not know what harbor he is making for, no wind is the right wind. ~ Seneca
It's one thing to let the wind take you where it may, to "go with the flow," to be a rootless leaf at the mercy of the breeze.
It's quite another to make a plan and stick to it.
Believe in yourself enough to trust that you can make a decision and carry it through.
And once you make a decision, believe that it's the right one and proceed on that basis, at least until something convinces you that you need to change your path.
Aim for your harbor.
I want to write something which would be a solace. I got a message on my answerphone last night from a friend. She didn't say anything but I could hear her grief.
Grief - its so real. On Sunday I sat on a bus and wept as a wave of sadness bore down on me as I realised I would probably never see my grandmother again before she dies.
Meanwhile I sit in a hot and fetid office. Struggling and struggling to work out why my invoice and their invoice have such different figures. People wander in and out asking for things of other people in the office, phones ring and ring, anxious thoughts about x & y & z & b and why they haven't called back yet. A co-worker interrogates me about a database, who she asks will update it, when will it be updated. It takes all my energy to restrain myself from picking up the mobile phone box which lurks under my desk (I am to use the devil's instrument in my job in a time to be specified later) and throwing it at her while yelling I don't give a fuck. My train of thought as I try and understand where the discrepancy lies is broken. I later try and persuade her to leave the office at lunchtime. Oh the joy of being in the office alone!
Then I sit outside in a garden with a friend and a glass of wine and a man and two dogs walk past. The one wants a ball to be thrown and my friend obliges. I move awkwardly and spill the glass of wine. The other smaller dog - firmly on a lead (because she runs away) licks the wine off the grass.
Anyway in between the sheer aggravations of everyday office life I keep on getting secret and not so secret messages about what is real and important. And believe me baby it ain't filemaker databases.
I've been very good this year - positively looking on the silver linings despite it generally being a very hard year to survive. Financially speaking things have been hideous and my entire 11 1/2 months seem to be entirely spent just keeping the directors of the Bank of Scotland in gee gaws.
My phone stopped working, I got a telephone engineer out who said that I needed a new phone. So I went to John Lewis and paid out £50 yes £50 bloody pounds for a new phone. I charged it for 24 hours and the fecking thing is not compatible with my phone line. Thats right the line does not fecking fit. Despite all the assurances of the man at John Lewis. Serves me right for believing him.
I stomped up and down this afternoon at the beach. The sky as black as my mood and the sea as green as the bile with win me. I've had enough.
I'm going to shut the door this christmas and not emerge until January. This fucking phone malarky is a sign.
sunshine, swimming pools and servants.... this is what white people happily consumed feeding off Apartheide.
Evening class suddenly at the end our conversation turns to our pasts. We come from all over, new jersey, zambia, are we outing ourselves as not from this place?
Apparently I'm a Mossad Agent and so is my friend K. I've obviously been such a long time sleeper I've forgotten when I was recruited. I seem to have missed the induction week but I'm hoping for a bit of international travel in the next few months (work is a bit quiet) and my dad was really thrilled to discover that I've managed to get a career with a pension!
And did you get what
You wanted from this life, even so?
And what did you want?
To call myself beloved to feel myself
Beloved on the earth.
Quoted in an email on a list I'm on - for some reason this just made me feel unbearably sad.